dress to kill.
June 2010
10 posts
“And there’s a moral to this story. Or at least there was supposed to be a moral, but because I’m dyslexic, it is, in fact, a marble.”
—Eddie Izzard, Definite Article (via undergrounddawn)
“
But you’re the Roman Empire, yeah! So you’ve got vomitoriums and orgies to look forward to… Let the President lead the way! ‘Cause no one cares in America and… I don’t know. In Europe, we’re just watching you, and going, ‘What are you doing?’ ‘Cause in France they wouldn’t care, and in Britain, they’d get shot. If the Prime Minister had done something, everyone would go, ( mumbling sheepishly ).
‘Can the government say what was happening on the recent affair with the Prime Minister?’
‘Well, the government would like to say ( more mumbling ).’
‘Thank you.’
” —Eddie Izzard
“Guns don’t kill people, people do. And monkeys do too (if they’ve got a gun).”
—Eddie Izzard (via zomgmouse)
“Cats have a scam going—you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.”
—Eddie Izzard (via fuckyeahbritishcomedians)
“And I think that if God did exist, he had many children. I think Jesus proves this. Jesus must be the seventh son of God. A-sus, B-sus, C-sus, D-sus, E-sus, F-sus, G-sus. That’s just logic.”
—Eddie Izzard (via fuckyeahbritishcomedians)
“You say ‘erbs’, and we say ‘herbs’… because there’s a fucking ‘H’ in it!”
—Eddie Izzard (via ilovebender)
“Two languages in one head?! Dear God man! That’s impossible! But…the Dutch speak four and smoke marijuana! Well…yes…but they’re cheating!”
—Eddie Izzard (via bschwartz)
